


Joker x Reader - The Blanket Fort

by TheJokersEnigma



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Joker fan fiction, Oneshot, Oneshot request, Tumblr request, joker x reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 10:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14235309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheJokersEnigma/pseuds/TheJokersEnigma
Summary: This was a request from a lovely anon:'Would you be able to write about how the reader some how convinces Joker to build a blanket fort with her? And they end up in some sort of pillow fight that goes a bit too extreme, because both the reader and Joker do not like to lose.'





	Joker x Reader - The Blanket Fort

“Hiya.” You greeted as you stepped into the office, eyes immediately going to J who was bent over his desk, head in one hand as he poured over a pile of documents on his desk. He glanced up at your voice and pushed himself back in his chair as you approached, letting his head fall back with a short, frustrated sigh.

“Hard day?” You asked sympathetically, studying his tired face and the darks shadows where his eyes were closed.

“Understatement.” He muttered, running his hands through his already messy green hair. “If I hear one more of ‘Eddie’s’ bloody riddles, I’ll put a bullet in my own head.” He growled.

“Aren’t riddles kinda just like jokes, though?” You asked with a slight twist of your lips, perching yourself on the edge of his desk.

J let his head drop forward to glare at you reproachfully. “I’m taking that as a personal insult, sweetheart,” He drawled, sneering the ‘sweetheart’. “In fact,” He decided, “your very naivety is almost physically painful.” He told you darkly, making a fist with one hand and clenching it tightly into his body like he was in pain.

You snorted and glanced away from him around the room, “You’re just too sensitive.” You taunted back.

He let out a loud sigh and slouched over his desk, resting his arms on the surface. “You know, doll, sometimes you make it incredibly difficult not to just shoot you.” He said, looking up at you with a scowl. “Truly, it’s a testimony to how I must feel about you.” He muttered bitterly like he wasn’t proud of this weakness.

“I’m flattered.” You smirked, turning your eyes back on him.

You watched him with that sly smirk and he watched you back with a frown, clearly confused by your behaviour. “Do you actually need something, doll?” He eventually growled too tired for your games right now.

“Yes.” You declared, hopping off the desk again. “You’ve been cooped up in here all day, and I’ve been patient,” You told him, now placing your palms on his desk and leaning towards him. “But now you’re gonna come and spend the evening with me.” You told him firmly.

“You’re in the mood to push your luck tonight, ain’t ya sweetie?” He growled, raising a disbelieving eyebrow at you.

“Is it such a bad thing to want to spend time with you?” You pouted dramatically at him.

He scowled at you, “Fine,” He conceded with a growl, “If you need the attention.” He muttered sulkily.

“Oh, I do.” You grinned triumphantly, ignoring his attitude and pushing yourself back up right. J grumbled under his breath and wearily pushed his chair back from the desk, rising to his full height, and revealing his shirt partially untucked from his trousers and his waistcoat hanging open. It all seemed to match with the rest of his exhausted and dishevelled look.

He watched you taking in his appearance. “I’d watch it, doll.” He warned before you could say anything, stepping around the desk to you.

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” You defended innocently. “Don’t worry, though” You added with a grin, “I like the messy look.” You told him, closing the distance between the two of you with a step and reaching up on your tiptoes to kiss his pale cheek.

You noticed how he closed his eyes at your touch, but opened them again slowly as you pulled away, dropping back to the floor.

“Alright, sweetheart.” He purred down at you, a slight growl to his voice, but a playful twinkle in his eyes. “You’ve got my attention,” He murmured, a slow grin spreading along his painted lips as he snaked a slim, yet muscular arm around your waist, pulling you into him again. “What do you want with it?” He asked, his lips finding your own cheek and lingering.

 

You smirked and, reluctantly, pulled away from J, slipping out of his arms and turning to face him again, mischief in your eyes. “We, J, are going to build a fort.” You declared.

He furrowed his pale brow, clearly wondering if this was somehow a joke. “A fort?” He repeated in question.

“A blanket fort to be precise.” You clarified with a grin.

The Joker raised his eyebrows and ran a hand over his face and through his hair in exasperation. “I have a lot of work to do, doll, must we?” He groaned.

“Don’t give me that,” You smacked his arm playfully, “Your work is exactly why we’re going to do it,” You told him sternly, “– it’s a proven stress reliever.”

He pulled his hand slightly away from his face, his startling blue eyes back on you, now clearly revealing his wicked thoughts. “Ya know what I find a proven stress reliver, kitten?” J grinned roguishly.

“You’re either talking about sex or murder,” You muttered, “And we’re not doing either of them.” You told him firmly.

“Well you just suck the fun out of everything,” The Joker grumbled, now stepping to move past you and you were left wondering for a moment if you truly annoyed him too much now. Suddenly, though, you felt an arm wrap around your waist again and pull you back against J’s body, his lips now at your ear. “Don’t ya, sweetheart?” He growled seductively.

You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face at the tingling feeling that ran through your body. “Ok,” You conceded with a giggle, “Maybe we can squeeze one of those activities in,” You allowed, letting yourself lean back into him for a moment, enjoying the comfort of his arms, before you then effortlessly twisted free again. You could easily have remained there against J, but you wouldn’t let him win. You would have your fort.

You now turned to face him again, “But murder does always leave such a mess…” You mused, taking a few steps back to put even more distance between the two of you. J scowled at you for foiling his plan and you simply winked at him before spinning on the spot and walking out the office door, knowing he would eventually follow.

J remained where he stood for a moment, watching you leave. He didn’t like how manipulative you were being tonight, and he could just let you walk away alone to teach you a less. But then he glanced back at his desk and the pile of papers, sharply reminded of his Nigma headache, and the last thing he wanted to do was to go back to work.

Tomorrow he’d do something to give Eddie a similar headache. Maybe a nicely placed explosive to blow a few of his databases. Might be payback enough – and it would take time to be traced back to J, by that time any deal of theirs would be over.

Right now, though a blanket fort was the weapon he could turn to his own advantage… He grinned devilishly to himself - more than one person could scheme after all.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You glanced up as J finally found you in the living room of the large penthouse. He glanced around the room which was littered with a variety of objects, the most obvious thing the huge pile of cushions by the coffee table.

“Can you grab some chairs from the dining room.” You asked as you dropped your attention back down to the pile of blankets you had been counting. You glanced back up when you didn’t notice him move. J had an eyebrow raised at your command as though in disbelief you would were asking such a thing. “Please?” You asked innocently, pouting again.

“You’re gonna owe me, doll.” He muttered, turning back the way he came. You just smirked at his back as he left - he wasn’t fighting you, which meant at least a small part of him actually wanted to do it.

After a short while, the two of you had the room ready. You had used one side of the sofa and the dining chairs J had brought through as props which you had then used hold up the numerous blankets and sheets you draped over them to create a cave-like tent structure.

At first, J had started off by simply standing back and watching you work, only aiding where you instructed, but soon his enthusiasm for it seemed to grow and he actively began to help you decorate.

“Do you have any defence systems?” He asked, as he handed you another cushion for the flooring.

“Any what?” You asked, pausing to turn back to him. “You realise this isn’t an actual fort, right?”

“Trust me, doll, that is abundantly clear.” He muttered, glancing around in apparent disgust at the design flaws of your fortress. “Just thought it would be a bit fun to have a few bobby traps or something…” He murmured, his eyes dancing as he now glanced around, the ideas clearly spinning in his mind. You rolled your eyes at this and continued on your work, securing the last blanket down with the cushion J handed you.

You managed to dig up some old fairy lights you had found in the back of your wardrobe and now hung them around the entranceway and directly through the centre of the centre of your little cave. It gave it all a warm, sleepy glow when you turned off the main lights in the room.

After J continued to press you, you had reluctantly allowed him to put up some trip wires outside the ‘fort’. You had drawn the line at anything dangerous, and so, instead, J had begrudgingly rigged them to only set off a high pitch alarm.

You now padded back across the floor to the tent, avoiding the wires.

“What now?” J asked from where he had made himself comfortable in the corner of the tent, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

You frowned over at him as you crawled in. “Have you never been in a pillow fort before?”

“Sorry, doll, must have missed that activity during my stay in the asylum.” He grinned teasingly.

“Alright smart ass.” You smirked, rolling your eyes as you now sat cross-legged across from him, sight to the right to avoid his feet. “Well… now we just – uh - enjoy each-other’s company.” You shrugged, actually not planning this far in advance.

“Oh, I’m sure I can do that…” J purred, now pulling his feet in and shifting himself forward onto his hands and knees, stalking towards where you sat. You shuffled backwards, giggling as he approached, but J was quick, swiftly grabbing your ankles and tugging you so you fell on your back onto the cushions.

“J!” You half-shrieked, half laughed as he grinned down at you. You reach blindly backwards, grabbing for the nearest pillow you could pull free. “This is not the point of the blanket fort!” You cried, playfully smacking him with your cushion.

The attack took J by surprise and you couldn’t help letting out a loud laugh at the look on his face. The Joker recovered quickly, and his wide grin returned, “Oo hoo hoo, wanna play rough, darling?” He teased.

You grinned back and that was all the answer he needed. “Murder it is then, doll.” He grinned wildly before reaching for his own pillow. You shrieked and giggled as you threw your arms over your face, protecting yourself as the pillow came down on you. You had kept a firm grip on your own pillow however and you now blindly threw it out in retaliation, feeling as it connected with J, but you’d thrown it out slightly short – or the Joker had pulled back slightly - because it only managed to hit him in the chest, and even then, it was only half the pillow that made contact.

You, on the other hand, now got bombarded by numerous hits to the head from J, slightly disorientating you, though neither of you stopped laughing the entire time.

You quickly gave up on trying to protect yourself, instead recklessly – though largely fruitlessly - fighting back, pushing yourself off the floor of pillows and trying to dodge as many of J’s attacks as you could whilst also blindly swinging at him as you tried to land a hit. You didn’t stand much of a chance though, J clearly being the better fighter and, somehow, this skill being transferrable to pillow fights. It also seemed, despite the weariness you had seen in J earlier, he still had that same abandonment of mind he was known for - his ability to push aside all the other distracting voices and focus on nothing else until he worn you down.

Out of breath from effort and laughter, it didn’t take long until one particularly strong hit from J sent you falling backwards into one of the dining room chair props. The chair flew away behind you as you landed on the cushion, your head managing to miss the pillow-y floor and instead making connection with the normal carpet, knocking your skull as the sheet then fell on top of you.

You groaned, lifting your head to rub the back your skull where it connected with the floor. You tried to fight the heavy sheet off you, but you only seemed to get yourself more wrapped up and a small corner of your mind began to panic at the slightly limited oxygen availability now.

The laughter filled your ears and suddenly the sheet was wrenched back from you and you gasped in a deep breath of air, immediately calming down again. You blinked dumbly up at the roof of the fort, a huge gaping hole in the construction behind you now, as J now moved to hover over you, his eye twinkling with laughter as he grinned down at you. “Now, darling, if this was a real fort, that never would have happened.” He pointed out smugly.

“You still would have somehow managed to take me out with a pillow, though.” You defended, rubbing the ache in your head again, though you were fighting the urge to smile back at him.

J simply continue to grin down at you, then shifted himself around in the small cave structure to lie by your side, the length of his body against your own. The two of you stayed like that for a while in companionable silence, simply starting up at the low hung ceiling sheets where the fairy lights were haphazardly strung, before J finally broke the silence. “Gotta say, doll,” He mused, “This ain’t bad,” He allowed with a slight nod of his head, “But I think I can do far better.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” You smirked, pushing yourself up to a seating position to glance down at with a raised eyebrow.

“Indubitably.” He grinned up at you.

You snorted in disbelief, “You know there aren’t supposed to be turrets, or moats, or a portcullis.”

“That’s your opinion, sweetheart.” He allowed with a nod, “I, myself, am more open to artistic interpretation,” He mused, “and those unique little touches – after all,” He declared, waving one hand in the air dramatically, “who says you can’t create the most optimal defence position in your own home.”

You sniggered at this, imaging what odd contraptions J would come up with if he set his mind to it – after all you’d seen all the elaborate constructions he had created to entertain the Bat, even his own imagination didn’t seem to be the limit of what he was capable of.

You felt J shift next to you again, now turning his body, so his head could rest in your lap. “I’m telling you doll, the possibilities are endless - the bobby traps, the torture chambers, the molten liquid ready to be poured on unsuspected intruders…” J listed.

You smirked at his childlike eagerness as his mind filled with ideas and you moved to your lap, running it through his green hair as he spoke. His gaze caught yours at the touch and you smiled lovingly down at the familiar grin and look of wild genius in his bright blue eyes. Yeah, he was a madman, but he was also a man that left his huge pile of work to spend the evening building a blanket fort with you. And - despite his attempts at complaining about it – he now seemed far happier and relaxed then you’d seen him in weeks. This was J - the man plotting crazy, erratic and seemingly impossible plans - not the man you’d found stuck behind the desk with a pile of paperwork.

You were glad you could bring the old Joker back.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like maybe I went off on another tangent on this one? I’ve been trying to write it for a quite a few days now, but kept getting stuck on the actual building the fort and what happens in the fort… I’ve messed around with a variety of ideas, but this is what I’ve finally decided on… I hope its alright?
> 
> This Joker is also slightly different to the one I usually write, I based it largely off the Joker found in The Killing Joker Comic/Movie and Arkham Joker (from the games if you don’t know) mainly because he’s my favourite version so I thought *shrug* why not write him a bit more? I hope that’s alright as well!
> 
> I also honestly didn’t think I would get this done tonight, but I wanted to, so sorry if there are a lot of mistakes or if it feels rushed, I’ve not edited it much!
> 
> Anyway…. Yeah… I hope it was remotely close to what the anon was after…? Sorry it took so long again! I’m on a bit of a slow go!


End file.
